Caricature
Two weeks ago I volunteered at Claremore, Oklahoma's own Bluegrass & Chili Festival. I know you're thinking "Wait. Banjos AND flatulent rednecks?!? Where do I sign up?" but the reality is that I've got a plum job on the beverage crew. In my case it amounts to rollin' around all day in a golf cart with a very nice young lady (pretty, to boot!) and occasionally shouldering an ice bag or case of pop. Sure, there are drawbacks. The third day of the festival I heard 5 "Rocky Top"s and 4 "Uncle Penn"s. Mind you that's over a whole day with 3 stages but... c'mon!
So during one of our numerous down times we toured the craft area to look at all the jerky, scented candles, crappy jewelry, knockoff sunglasses, microwaveable pork rinds (WTF?! There was demand for freshly microwaved pork rinds?!?), and the ubiquitous "Hey! Here's some free chewing tobacco! Get hooked!" stands. Among the trash-vendors was a (seemingly lonely and under-worked) caricaturist.
Now I'd had one caricature done at a company picnic. It was of me and my ex-girlfriend. I'd post it but I packed it up with her shit when I kicked her out. At the time I guess my thought was she'd be reminded that I'm awesome and she sucks... but I'm sure it was trashed soon after. That's heartless, inscrutable Asians for ya (I don't really think that about Asians - I just find stereotypes conveniently hilarious)! That particular caricaturist gave me a six-head (in case you're unaware: most people have foreheads but as we men go bald it becomes a five-head (and in some cases a real-life six-head)). So I prefaced my sitting with this anecdote and was quickly reassured that wouldn't reoccur.
Now when I meet people with interesting jobs I like to ask questions. I asked him what was his hardest assignment. He explained that he'd once been hired to draw at a mental institution. It was hard, he said, to make flattering drawings of people who couldn't smile. Apparently he was successful as he went on to receive letters of praise from the patients' families thanking him for what had become their favorite renderings of their loved ones. (I think that's a neat story. Almost makes me misty.)
I then asked him what was the weirdest thing he'd been asked to draw. He described a corporate booze cruise he'd been hired for. He was being underutilized (why does that happen? I've seen it firsthand but if I ain't payin' for it I'm damn sure going to get my free balloon hat, caricature or similar). Somebody finally asked for his services and asked to be drawn as a Klingon. Pretty cool.
Even cooler: He said a teen had once asked to be drawn as a suave, tux'ed, 007-James Bond type. He obliged and as he finished the kid asked him to write the kid's own phone number on the drawing. The kid went on to explain that there was a girl working at the local mini-mart that he was trying to impress. So my caricaturist drew a moony-eyed cashier in the background. I asked if the ploy had worked. He didn't know. But the romantic notion persists even without fruition.
Because I was chatting with Danielle (the aforementioned pretty co-volunteer) about the new Beatles Rock Band game I was given a Beatles t-shirt and a guitar. But next time I'm going to either:
1. Ask to be drawn as something outlandishly out of character. A pro wrestler or a cowboy or something.
2. Chat about some bizarre hobby like reenacting episodes of Golden Girls with dead, costumed turtles super-glued to popsicle sticks. Or compulsively leaving sandwich bags of my freshly shorn pubic hair labeled "Free Pubic Hair!" in public places and waiting to watch the reactions of the odd passerby. And just see what happens.
TL;DR: Met cool caricature artist. Got caricature. See pic.
So during one of our numerous down times we toured the craft area to look at all the jerky, scented candles, crappy jewelry, knockoff sunglasses, microwaveable pork rinds (WTF?! There was demand for freshly microwaved pork rinds?!?), and the ubiquitous "Hey! Here's some free chewing tobacco! Get hooked!" stands. Among the trash-vendors was a (seemingly lonely and under-worked) caricaturist.
Now I'd had one caricature done at a company picnic. It was of me and my ex-girlfriend. I'd post it but I packed it up with her shit when I kicked her out. At the time I guess my thought was she'd be reminded that I'm awesome and she sucks... but I'm sure it was trashed soon after. That's heartless, inscrutable Asians for ya (I don't really think that about Asians - I just find stereotypes conveniently hilarious)! That particular caricaturist gave me a six-head (in case you're unaware: most people have foreheads but as we men go bald it becomes a five-head (and in some cases a real-life six-head)). So I prefaced my sitting with this anecdote and was quickly reassured that wouldn't reoccur.
Now when I meet people with interesting jobs I like to ask questions. I asked him what was his hardest assignment. He explained that he'd once been hired to draw at a mental institution. It was hard, he said, to make flattering drawings of people who couldn't smile. Apparently he was successful as he went on to receive letters of praise from the patients' families thanking him for what had become their favorite renderings of their loved ones. (I think that's a neat story. Almost makes me misty.)
I then asked him what was the weirdest thing he'd been asked to draw. He described a corporate booze cruise he'd been hired for. He was being underutilized (why does that happen? I've seen it firsthand but if I ain't payin' for it I'm damn sure going to get my free balloon hat, caricature or similar). Somebody finally asked for his services and asked to be drawn as a Klingon. Pretty cool.
Even cooler: He said a teen had once asked to be drawn as a suave, tux'ed, 007-James Bond type. He obliged and as he finished the kid asked him to write the kid's own phone number on the drawing. The kid went on to explain that there was a girl working at the local mini-mart that he was trying to impress. So my caricaturist drew a moony-eyed cashier in the background. I asked if the ploy had worked. He didn't know. But the romantic notion persists even without fruition.
Because I was chatting with Danielle (the aforementioned pretty co-volunteer) about the new Beatles Rock Band game I was given a Beatles t-shirt and a guitar. But next time I'm going to either:
1. Ask to be drawn as something outlandishly out of character. A pro wrestler or a cowboy or something.
2. Chat about some bizarre hobby like reenacting episodes of Golden Girls with dead, costumed turtles super-glued to popsicle sticks. Or compulsively leaving sandwich bags of my freshly shorn pubic hair labeled "Free Pubic Hair!" in public places and waiting to watch the reactions of the odd passerby. And just see what happens.
TL;DR: Met cool caricature artist. Got caricature. See pic.
posted by Dr. Ew
at
3:34 PM
2 Comments:
If only you still had your other face on the back of your head at the time. That would have blown his mind.
Or maybe I should have had him do more of a full frontal caricature and later put that on the back of my head?
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